Ignoring your own child - Why?

Good morning.  I read a FB status last night that rubbed me the wrong way.  I took the stance if I couldn’t say anything nice I would just be quiet.But this is my blog and I can say what I feel as I see it – right? RIGHT!

So here goes – Micheal Baisden posted a status to the tone of Women need to stop being mean when it comes to the kids spending time with their fathers regardless of whether or not child support is being received.  My question – what if the other parent is not paying child support and has no desire to spend time with the kids.  What then?!  Speaking for myself – I’ve never stopped the other parent from seeing the kids.  They choose NOT TO – child support or not.  Now, you tell me who is harming the kids more – the parent there on a regular basis supporting the kids on a regular basis or the other parent who provides zero support on a full time basis.  Support is financial, spiritual, physical, and emotional.  For most parents who are receiving child support – it’s only a drop in the bucket compared to daily needs – food, shelter, clothing, school supplies, activities, medical and life insurance, dr copayments, prescriptions, attention, love, and time.

It’s easy to look from the outside in and make general statements or comments.  But when you are the parent on the inside that is the only parent putting forth 100% every day. Meanwhile, the other parent comes up with excuse after excuse (or be super silent) although they are able to go out to dinner, go on vacations, buy new clothes, etc but intentionally ignore their child.  There has to be some sense of guilt and shame on their part. Or is there?

How do you choose one child over another?  You can put your all into one child and leave the others in the dark. What does the full-time parent do at this point?

What's next....

This blog will begin to have different sections - Family and Life (whatever is going on), Hair and Book reviews.  Stay tuned.

Yes, Yes, Yes today is Friday

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Hair....Hair.....Hair...Is this a transition or a relaxer stretch?

04/30/12

Is this a transition or a relaxer stretch?  I’ve been thinking for several months now whether or not to continue to relax my hair or to go natural.  Let me tell you, there is tons of info out here.  Between blogs, facebook and youtube, I have been overwhelmed with information.  Let’s not forget the number of women in the workplace, church and just in general who are/are going natural or stretching out the relaxer. 

Last night, I opted to use a combo of bantu knots, two strand twist and braid outs.  The results were not bad at all.  Since I waited until 11pm to due these styles they are not perfect but my daughter paid me a hair compliment this morning.  Now, that still has me smiling.

I think I will continue to do my research and try a few styles here and there before making such a huge decision. But, I am excited to try something new and look forward to stopping the dryness, breakage and blah hair styles.  It’s possible I’ll post a pic of today’s hairstyle but I’m still on the fence about the pics.  I am so not a picture person myself.

05/01/12

So, this is day 2 of the transition - but over 2 months since my last relaxer (March 2012)  Last night, I decided to put in several large braids and roller set my ends before heading to bed.  Oh, how delighted I was this morning at my new hair style. I added some water and leave-in and my hair is so soft.  And Big.  Yes, I like big hair. 

05/02/12

So today, I have yet a different hair style.  It’s the flat twists (2) with a side part.  This was not my intended hair style, however I forget to do anything to my hair last night and this was the best style for a rainy Wednesday.  But I have received 3 compliments already (1 being from my daughter – woo hoo – two days in one week).  I also trimmed my ends this morning since it has been a while since the last trim.  After applying a little water and cantu shea butter, I detangled my ends and did the trimming.  The trimming was light but needed.  The compliments are coming at me all day. 

Now, when I left for work Ry was asleep so he didn’t get to see my hair.  So, this evening when he sat down with me to watch tv, he had the nerve to tell me I looked like a boy and preceded to fluff out my hair.  I was in shock and smirking all at the same time.  Kids can be brutal, even at the age of 3. 

05/03/12

Vacation day from work to hang out with my best friend.  The weather was fantastic.  The morning started out chilly, but by the time we left the movie theater and headed to lunch it was gorgeous out.  We laughed so hard during and after the movie.  What a joy to have such a great friend to hang out with.  It’s surprising to think that it’s been 13 years since we started out friendship.  Her family quickly became my family and vice versa.  Our next excursion will include dress shopping as her oldest son gets married in August.

05/11/12

The work week is coming to an end and what a week it has been.  I am so grateful for all the blessings that I have received.  This week has been a busy but productive week.  The weather over the weekend was beautiful and then the sun took a short vacation for a few days but it's back.  The sun is back and it's beautiful. 

This weekend's weather currently looks fantastic! What beautiful weather to look forward to as Mother's Day is approaching.  I must get my cleaning done this evening (after the sun goes down) so that I can get out and enjoy this weather.  I'm so excited about the weather as it's a precursor to my current mood and direction I'm moving in these days.  Forward movemenet...yes.

There are some days where there are baby steps and no sun or nice strides and some rain, but overall I'm still moving forward.

I'm still doing the relaxer stretch with my hair and still experimenting with products and styles.  There is so much information available through youtube, facebook, blogs, books, etc.  Earlier this week it was definitely information overload so I took a short break. 

Today's hair is an after thought.  I meant to set my hair on rollers last night and I started watching We Bought A Zoo with Ryan and got way too comfortable.  It was a really good movie (although he only wanted to watch  when the animals were on). So, this morning I only applied some water, Cantu shea buttter and headband. 

 

Continuing to step away...

So, two weeks ago I decided to step away form some friendships/relationships.  Well, that wasn't quite the beginning of my stepping away/slowing movement.  Earlier in the month, I stepped down as the girl scout cookie manager for my service unit.  This was a big step as I have held that position for 10 years.  It has been about two years since I decided that I neede to say "No" to a few activities.  This mainly due to my kids getting older and their schedules getting more intense and this leaving me with less time. 

Besides, I will have more time to spend with the kids or doing things for myself.  This last part has become almost obsolete.  I'm a little sad that I won't have the position next ear, but I'm more excited about what lies ahead at the same time.

Although I'm still stepping away from some overwhelming activities, I'm looking forward to more family time and me time.

This is long overdue!

It's a Hair Thing, Baby!

04/30/12

Is this a transition or a relaxer stretch?  I’ve been thinking for several months now whether or not to continue to relax my hair or to go natural.  Let me tell you, there is tons of info out here.  Between blogs, facebook and youtube, I have been overwhelmed with information.  Let’s not forget the number of women in the workplace, church and just in general who are/are going natural or stretching out the relaxer. 

Last night, I opted to use a combo of bantu knots, two strand twist and braid outs.  The results were not bad at all.  Since I waited until 11pm to due these styles they are not perfect but my daughter paid me a hair compliment this morning.  Now, that still has me smiling.

I think I will continue to do my research and try a few styles here and there before making such a huge decision. But, I am excited to try something new and look forward to stopping the dryness, breakage and blah hair styles.  It’s possible I’ll post a pic of today’s hairstyle but I’m still on the fence about the pics.  I am so not a picture person myself.

05/01/12

So, this is day 2 of the relaxer stretch and extended hair style from Sunday evening.  Last night, I decided to put in several large braids and roller set my ends before heading to bed.  Oh, how delighted I was this morning at my new hair style. I added some water and leave-in and my hair is so soft.  And Big.  Yes, I like big hair. 

Stepping Away

I’ve seen the writing on the wall for sometime, I feel this is the right time to step away from some friends.  Even though, we may have been friends for many years or just a few, it’s in my best interest to move forward.  It’s a move forward that will allow me to shake off the feel of inadequacy and the feeling of rejection.  For awhile now, I’ve just had the feeling that these friendships have been one-sided.  It’s been a feeling that I’m only called upon or talked to when you are having issues or has no one else to turn to.  Then and only then do I get any conversation – albeit the conversation is only to involve around that friend.  The feeling of being tossed aside until your next dilemma is no longer something that I care to be a part of at this time. 

From this day forward, I’m going to focus more on me and my family.  I’ll be putting my time, energy and focus on those who seem to have a consistent communication and desire to be my friend.  This does not mean that I will not continue to pray for those I’m separating from, as I will always keep them in my prayers and life – just at a distance.  I’m suddenly feeling a weight being lifted even as I write this out.

I appreciate the good, bad and other times we have had but I do believe that this is the best for me. So as I step away from the social weight I’ve been carrying around for so long – I look forward to new friendships that are nurturing and always evolving.

Go Me!

Fall has arrived

This weekend, I celebrated my 41st birthday quietly and snow decided to make a debut.  Now, that was quite a birthday present. I'm not sure if I want it to become a tradition though. Thinking back over the past year, once again there have been highs and lows but I survived it all.  Yes, I grumbled, mumbled and complained but I survived.

The weight loss is continuing although slower than I anticipated.  The numbers on the scale have stopped moving, but the inches are still coming off.  My goal is to be 15 lbs thinner by Christmas and I can see that goal being reached.  It is definitely a daily assignment to eat healthy and exercise.

In just 6 days, Mea is traveling to Texas for a Girl Scout convention.  I'm so excited for her to be able to experience such an event.  Thankfully, she was able to do some fundraising this summer to help offset costs, but it's still expensive to provide for her meals, tips and attractions while there.  I can't wait to here all about it when she returns.  This will be her first airplane ride and being this far away from home.

What will Ryan and I get ourselves into while she is gone?!  Hmmm  It's going to be weird just him and I being home for 6 days without Sissy. He's always barging in her room and sneaking her food.

Today is Day 3 of my vacation from work.  If I can call it that.  I'm not in the office but have texts and calls from them every day.  Oh Boy!